Ellen Presents ‘The Voice’


– So the Democratic debate
was last night, and today I thought
I would analyze each of the candidates’
economic plan. No, I’m kidding. Um–
[audience laughter] Everybody’s like,
“Get my purse, I’m going.” We’re going to talk about
“The Voice.” Do you like “The Voice”?
Do you watch “The Voice”? [cheers and applause] Yeah, they just started
the battle rounds, and it’s getting intense. In fact,
it’s getting so stressful, Adam Levine’s hair fell out,
you guys. [audience laughter] I don’t know what happened. Portia and I love “The Voice.”
We watch it. And when we watch it,
we play this game, and we turn around, like,
you know, the judges do. But instead of guessing
if we turn around for the singing part, we try
to guess what they look like. And we describe what
we think that voice is, and see who’s kind of
closest to it. And since we’re celebrities,
we splurged. We got our own chairs
that spin around. Here they are, those. And, um–
[audience laughter] Got ’em at Office Depot. But I thought it would be fun
to play “The Voice” game here, live at the show, and so I got “The Voice” chair. Hey, boys?
Bring it out. All right.
audience: Ooh! [cheers and applause] Whoo!
[cheers and applause] Whoo.
[cheers and applause] [cheers and applause] Okay, so I am going
to have some contestants come out and sing,
and I’m going to have to guess
what they look like. I haven’t seen any of these
people before. Everybody wanted to surprise me, so I don’t know who they are. And don’t give me any hints,
please, ’cause I want to try to guess
just based on their voice. I’m pretty good at this, too. All right, let’s hear
the first contestant. – Whoo!
[quiet applause] – [singing]
Ain’t no mountain high, Ain’t no valley low – It’s a man.
[audience laughter] – [singing] Ain’t no river
wide enough, baby. – Very, very high voice.
No, it’s a woman? – [singing] If you need me
call me, no matter where you are No matter how far – She’s got dark hair,
she’s in her 30s. – [singing] Just call my name
– Parts her hair on the left. – [singing]
You don’t have to worry ‘Cause baby there–
– She’s very happy. – [singing] Ain’t no mountain
high enough. – Has a roommate.
[audience laughter] – [singing] Ain’t no river
wide enough To keep me
from getting to you, Ellen. – Well, okay, so I think she’s obviously got
a beautiful voice, of an angel. But like I said, I think
all those things are true. Possibly she’s wearing glasses,
or just a monocle. [audience laughter] Oh, my God! [cheers and applause] Bellamy!
[cheers and applause] – Whoo hoo!
– Hi, Bellamy! You have a great voice!
[cheers and applause] Thank you for being here.
– Thank you. – And what a great voice
you have! – You’re sitting in a chair
from “The Voice.” – I know, but I was right,
I said dark hair, except it’s not parted,
but I said dark hair, right? – Yeah.
– And the voice of an angel. And pretty.
Thanks, Bellamy! – I love you, mwah.
– Bellamy Young, everybody. – Bye, you guys.
[cheers and applause] [cheers and applause] All right, let’s hear
the next one. – [chanting]
One, two, three. One, two, three, drink. One, two, three.
One, two, three, drink. One, two, three. One, two, three, drink. Throw ’em back.
Till I lose count. [singing]]
I’m gonna swing From the chandelier From the chandelier
– It’s someone trying to sound Like a woman.
– [singing] I’m gonna live – It’s not a woman.
It’s a man. Like, possibly a teenager. – [singing] I’m gonna fly – It’s a young–
it’s a man. And he’s got blond hair – [singing] Feel my tears
as they dry. – And I think he’s wearing
glasses. – [singing] I’m gonna swing
from the chandelier – He owns a dog.
– [vocalizing] – Maybe he has two dogs. [cheers and applause] Oh, my God.
That’s not fair! – Did you get it?
– Yes, Josh. – Did you get it?
– Yes. – This is a dangerous chair,
by the way. – I know.
Hi Josh, mwah. – Thank you for being here.
– I love you, thank you. – I love you.
Thank you for fooling me. All right, let’s hear
the next one. – [singing]
I’ma buy you a train. [vocalizing] I’ma take you home with me. I got money in the bank. Shawty, what you think ’bout it? Find me in the grey Cadillac We in a bed, like ooh. – Okay.
– Ooh, ooh, ooh. Ooh, we in a bed, like ooh. Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh. – Young–young, like, I’m saying
16 to 18 years old. And wearing a dress, and uh– And very petite. Those are my guesses. Ah!
[laughs] [cheers and applause] – That’s exactly me!
– That’s you! That’s your voice! – That was me, not.
Thank you for calling me petite. – Yes, Meghan.
You are! – That’s so nice.
– Petite little voice. – Buy you a drink.
All right, mwah. – One more?
Okay, one more. I’m not doing well. But it’s fun. [audience reacts]
Uh, oh. – [singing] Players gonna play,
play, play, play, play. The haters gonna hate,
hate, hate, hate, hate. But I’m just gonna shake,
shake, shake, shake, shake. Shake it off.
Shake it off. – It’s Taylor Swift.
[audience laughter] – [singing] Shake it off,
shake it off. Ah, oh, oh.
Shake it off. Shake it off.
– I’m just gonna let him sing, ’cause now–Meghan just
gave it away. – [singing] Shake it off.
Uh uh oh. Shake it off, shake it off. – That’s John Legend
right there. [cheers and applause] – [laughs]
Aah! – Hi.
– Hi. Hi, John!
– [laughing] – Wow. [cheers and applause] That’s–
[cheers and applause] [cheers and applause] That’s amazing.
[cheers and applause] I have to play this game
more often, ’cause look who turns up
to play the game. [laughter and applause] All right,
thank you for auditioning. You’d all be on my team.
I would’ve turned around for each and every one of you. Thank you so much.

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Reader Comments

  1. Wimpy Ostrich

    The guy with the glasses when he said "1 2 3 1 2 3 1 2 3 drink. 1 2 3 1 2 3 1 2 3 drink" I was like WHATTTT and smacked myself in the face with the palm of my hand

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