How to be Stupid


We all know those people, the few dim bulbs of the group, Now, they don’t necessarily have to be called “Stupid”, but their actions just make you go… …ugh. Now, I’m fine with people not using the full extent of their brain cells to do things, but when their stupidity starts affecting ME, then we’re gonna start having some problems. The Rule Disregarder Someone who either doesn’t listen to rules, or flat out ignores them. I had a class with this one person. I’m just gonna keep his identity a secret. He… [sigh] I don’t know what was wrong with him… He did lots of questionable things that made the class just shake their head. One time he asked the teacher if he could use a pen to fill out a bubble test. And… if you don’t understand how bubble tests work, normally you get a bubble sheet, fill out a multiple choice test corresponding to the letters on the test, and the teacher gives the filled-out forms to this machine, and it grades the test a lot faster than the teacher can. But the machine only works when you fill it out with a No. 2 pencil. Maybe the guy didn’t know how they worked, so… I guess it wasn’t a bad question. But a few weeks later, when we had another test, it turns out the same guy used, yep, a pen to fill out his test. Really guy? Really? and as the teacher was yelling at him for being so… ignorant, it was noticed that he didn’t even put his name on the test either. The Advice Ignorer When you give advice to someone, they ignore it, and they end up in this huge problematic situation that you predicted perfectly and they could have avoided if they just took your advice from the beginning. Tori, do you think I should date Erin or Jack? Erin has had at least 24 girlfriends, and he’s cheated on all of them. I’d say Ja- OH MY GOD GIRL WAIT. Erin just asked me out to the carnival tonight I have to go with him I’ll see you later. Oh my god Tori, Erin bailed on me for some blondie blonde who isn’t even hot you have to come pick me up Erin was my other ride home, and I’m getting hecka wet in the rain! The Non-Future Planner Someone who doesn’t think of the consequences of their stupid actions before they make them. Once when I was in fourth grade, I was in the school bathroom and as I was walking down the little corridor to go into the stall, some girl randomly started yelling “I’M GONNA KICK THE DOOR OPEN!!!!” and all of a sudden I heard this sound: “BOOF!” as one of the stall doors FLEW OPEN AT MY FACE. Now luckily, I was a master of karate arts when I was little, so my reflexes were lightning fast. and I was actually able to block the door with my arm instead of my face! and, I’m not gonna lie, I was pretty proud of myself because I’ve never done anything that amazing before. but I mean, come on. If it wasn’t me standing there and instead some, I don’t know, poor little kindergartener, who couldn’t block the door if they tried, there could’ve been some… major issues. I even had a pretty bad bruise on my arm from where I blocked it! The Ignorant When someone doesn’t pay attention to their surroundings, when they could be a hazard to something or themselves. JEFF, WHERE DO YOU WANT THESE KNIVES? Oh hey Jeff, didn’t see you there. I- uh, Don wanted them… ov-over by the cabinet over there. HEY DON! JEFF SAID YOU WANTED THESE OVER THERE! WHAT? NO THE- THE KNIVES YOU WANTED! YEAH! YOU SURE? OKAY, CATCH! no? OK I’LL SPRINT ‘EM OVER TO YOU! The Important Detail Overlooker Someone who is told important details, and immediately forgets them. Okay so, for the party tomorrow, you said you can… bake the cookies? Yep! Do you want a specific kind? Nope, I can eat everything but peanuts, so everything else you want is fine. Hey! Glad you could make it. What did you bring? Peanut butter cookies. You want one? They’re still warm! [shuts door] Hello? [Music]

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