Rooster Teeth Animated Adventures – Burnie Burns Horse Puncher

Burnie: one time we were in Hawaii Burnie: we do that thing where we ride horses Burnie: my wife and I did this Burnie: We go to put our horses away and so they gave us these cookies and these carrots Burnie: I didn’t even try the carrots Burnie: to give to the horses Burnie: and you know, you just put em in your palm and you do it and the horse mush mush mush Burnie: my wife, she keeps her hands down there Burnie: and the horse is like, mushing on her hands more, her empty hands Burnie: and she says “look, he thinks my hands smell like carrots, that’s funny.”
Jack: oh no Burnie: and I walked up to her horse and she’s very quietly going to the horse “let go”
[laughing] Burnie: saying “let go, let go, please let go.” Burnie: the horse had bit one of her fingers and it was not letting go
[collective oh on] Burnie: and so I saw this and she’s like “owww ow ow, please let go please, please” Burnie: so I haul off and punch the horse in the jaw
Eric: in the pressure point Burnie: In the pressure point, exactly so I instinctively just hit it there and the horse lets go Burnie: the middle digit of her finger it was liked crunched. it had these two massive indentations from the horses big stupid buck teeth [Laughing] Burnie: and she going “let’s just go, let’s just go” I’m like ” this horse bit you, no, we’re not going anywhere.” Burnie: But she was fine Jack: So you punched a horse [Muisc]

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Reader Comments

  1. ZooTycoon223

    I can sympathize with this. I had a horse bite my finger way back when I was in the third grade, Let me tell you, not a pleasant experience. 

  2. Bluecho4

    My family has owned horses, so I'm more sympathetic to that horse. Of course you need to be careful feeding them, because they can't tell the difference between a tasty carrot and a human finger.

    Palms flat, everyone. Palms flat.

  3. Off Dogs

    Burnie got lucky, we used to have three arabians and I punched one for biting me and she started stomping at me like I was on fucking fire.  Took a few good bruises to the back and ribs.

  4. Daring Hope

    Going to quickly put this out there uhm
    Horses do know if they have done something wrong and Burnie had all rights to hit it. I own horses and you can't say "OMG he should be arrested" or some shit because horses can break your hands and/or fingers in one bite

  5. Metal Dragon

    Literally half of these comments are bronies complaining and bitching about him hitting a horse, and saying they'd fuck Burnie up if they saw him punch a horse. I can guarantee no fucking bronie is strong enough to do shit to anyone. Go back to watching your gay pony shit.  

  6. sesshomaru880

    okay I am a brony and I love horses but when they bite some one or try to you are actually supposed to punch them I worked on a farm for a week bathing them and the owners told me if they try to bite you bunch them as hard as you can on the nose so one tried to bite my grandma and I punched him in his nose he got the point

  7. RainAngel111

    everyone else is bitchin about whether it was good or not that he punched a horse, while I'm just sitting here feeling sad about the fact he told this story about his wife. his WIFE. now ex-wife 
    🙁 why you guys… whyyyyyy

  8. Harry Callahan

    i love how burnies horse is a pretty accurate drawing of a horse, looks a little beautiful while jordans (burnies first wife) looks like the retarded horse from family guy. 

  9. MariktheGunslinger

    Dude, if something poses a threat, you do something about it. That horse was hurting her, so he did something about it. It's not like he stabbed it or anything. The horse probably hardly felt it.

  10. Cody Bolster

    this happened to me when i was younger. the horse would not let go of my finger. broke it in three places. my friend ended up punching it in the face like crazy till it finally let go. scariest moment of my life. thought i lost a finger.

  11. ☢ SNICKERS 5+2 GRATIS ☢

    The woman is to blame in this, she was the one feeding the horse her empty hand. I don't blame the guy who punched that much.
    Lesson is don't feed your hands to animals, if you don't expect them to bite! 

  12. Scarabic Jones

    Here's a cringe-worthy thought: Burnie was actually taking a huge gamble, because say the spot he punched the horse in would actually cause the horse to bite down really hard in immediate response? Yeah. Enjoy some spine-shivers, on me.

  13. DashiePlotism

    Dear Social Justice Warriors,
    He specifically said that he INSTINCTIVELY hit it there. You cannot easily fight an instinct. Its not his fault for hitting it.
    Yours sincerely, some one who actually listened to the whole thing instead of instantly rage quitting.

  14. Goose42

    When I was two years old, my grandparents horse actually ate the tip off of my middle finger on my right hand. Makes for a fun story.

  15. zeus lim

    never punched a horse, I did kick a stray dog that was trying to bite me, it was all frothy in the mouth so I thought it had rabies, so when it ran at me, I just spun and kicked. I think I broke it's neck because it just died there.

  16. Kendra Mordan

    My horse did the same thing when I was teaching her to take cookies. I tried pulling away first but when she didn't let go I just slapped her. She hasn't bit me since. 😀

  17. Chelnah the Egghead

    Having gone to my aunt's horse farm ever since I was a kid has drilled into my brain to keep my palm as flat as possible while feeding the horse.

  18. Clay Pickett

    My grandma was cleaning her horse and it stood on her foot and she told it to get and it wouldn't move so she knocked out her horse. My gramma is a boss

  19. 8Rincewind

    There are several people defending Burnie punching the horse. But not one person has complained about it, stop leaping to defend people against imaginary criticism.

  20. Cross

    My dad's family owned horses when he was young. He told me once that when a horse begins closing it's mouth, it can't reopen it because its jaw locks. Once it starts to close it's mouth, it has to close it all the way in order to open it up again. That's why you need to be careful when feeding them.

    So really, it's probably a good thing that Burnie punched the horse! If he hadn't, there's a chance his wife would've lost her finger!

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