Trump’s New Border Wall Is Too Hot to Climb

-Let’s get to the news. During a visit to the
U.S./Mexico border yesterday, President Trump
claimed the new wall is designed to absorb heat,
making it harder to climb. So it’s absolutely foolproof unless immigrants can find
some sort of technology that would — damn it! [ Laughter ] Well, at the border,
President Trump called the new fencing,
quote, “virtually impenetrable.” But then again,
he said the same thing after pushing on this
for an hour. [ Laughter ] “There’s no way through.” [ Laughter ] Canadian Prime Minister
Justin Trudeau is facing criticism
after a photo from 2001 surfaced in which he is
wearing brownface. I’m not going to show you
the picture because it’s really bad. It’s so bad that Canadians
traveling in Europe are going to start telling
people they’re American. [ Laughter ] “What?” [ Cheers and applause ] [ Canadian accent ]
“Sorry, where’s my accent from? Oh, I’m from, uh, Houston.” [ Laughter ] “This is a Houston accent.” [ Laughter ] According to reports,
a whistle-blower complaint has been filed against
President Trump for his communications
with a foreign leader, which alleges that Trump
made an undisclosed promise during a phone call. Said Trump, “Well, I don’t know
if he even can dance, but sure, why not.” [ Laughter ] [ Applause ] Producers have announced that
Disney will soon add a character that will serve as its first
Jewish princess. The movie she’s starring in
is called “Chosen.” [ Laughter ] [ Applause ] A delivery van overturned
in Georgia on Friday and spilled over 216,000
gaming dice onto the roadway. Said the driver, “Yahtzee?” [ Laughter ] Today was International
Talk Like a Pirate Day. “Arrr,” said President Trump
trying to pronounce Iran. [ Laughter ] And finally, a new coffee shop
has opened in Seattle called Dreamboyz, which claims
to be the only coffee stand in Washington State operated by
shirtless men, but it’s got
nothing on Starbutts. [ Laughter ]

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Reader Comments

  1. Landen Ace

    It's funny how people still think Trump is a racist mean while there's no proof that he is and here you have Justin Trudeau wearing blackface and has been caught 3 times does anybody think he's a racist well the Democrats don't think so….like really?

  2. Piripi Moore

    Here's a challenge. Build a replica fence, and see how many Mexican's could get over that fence in an hour, using readily available materials on the border, and film it. It would be a hoot. You could set it up in an area where there's isn't a "Trump Fence". I'd watch that segment!

  3. claire bigelow

    wow imagine that …a metal wall in the desert Southwest…. where the temperatures can get over 100 degrees Fahrenheit !!! who would have thought ???? (sarcasm)

  4. Peter Spiderman

    The liberal unhinged is tasting their own bitter pills……
    They promote political correctness n killed common sense…..
    It is not ok to joke on certain people of colours but ok when the colour of white is the subject…..
    See….The double standard or no standard…..
    Actually this is a political game by the puppet masters a.k.a the cabals……
    They only use a few trolls to act it out and use the msm to highlight it like a projector into a huge screen..
    And cry loudly – RACIST …..!!!

  5. Dave D

    Trump's border wall is a lasting symbol of his total failure as president.MEXICO WILL PAY FOR THE WALL BELIEVE ME TRUST ME.a total failure at keeping any campaign promises.trumps a liar and a con.a total failure at everything except at losing and bankruptcy

  6. David McCarron

    Trump officially announced that spelling has been outlawed as well as proper posture. He blames bones for making him look ridiculous. That and new light bulbs.

  7. Gloria Maletta

    I think they should shoot them problem solved and once the word gets around that people trying to cross illegally remember the word illegally and they are being shot it would be a very big deterrent for others to try yes it would be very effective more so than a wall a 100 year's ago it wouldn't be a problem but today of course we have to deal with people who give people breaking the law complete compassion this was a time were there where no mass shootings at least not innocent people and immigrants who came to the country didn't fly air planes into building's so as you can see all this compassion we give people today has made this country so much better just look around and just see and feel how wonderful it is YEA RIGHT the compassion has made this so dangerous world we all have to live in so now enjoy the complete mentally unstable complete stupidity

  8. Andrew Garcia


  9. g bat

    Or wait until a time when the fence is not hot and people cannot see you. Hmmm ,when would be a good time to climb the fence? What is the opposite of daytime Mr. Trump.

  10. Innis Mor

    The president claimed, the government enlisted professional “world-class mountain climbers” to test different wall designs and evaluate which would be the toughest to scale. “We have, I guess you could say, world-class mountain climbers. We got climbers,” Trump said. “We had 20 mountain climbers. That’s all they do—they love to climb mountains… They’re very good, and some of them were champions. And we gave them different prototypes of walls, and this was the one that was hardest to climb.”

    But actual professional climbers tell a different story. Not only do they doubt that any professionals, let alone twenty of the top mountain climbers in the game, would aid the Trump administration in a task like this, they also say the wall would not be difficult to scale.

    The Daily Beast’s Scott Bixby spoke with numerous members of the climbing community, and they all denied involvement or even knowing of anyone who was or would be involved in helping the government keep immigrants from crossing the border.

    “I have never heard of any climbers ever being recruited to try and climb a border wall,” said Jesse Grupper, who won gold at the 2019 USA Climbing Sport & Speed Open National Championships.

    Another climber and second-ranked U.S. women’s boulderer, Kyra Condie, said, “I absolutely have not heard of anyone testing sections of border wall. It would even be hard to find any of us willing to do anything to help Trump and his efforts in any way.”

    The testing must be all Super Top Secret !! (Donald J Trump is a f'ing moron.)

  11. S M

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  12. LightningDogg

    Now that's comedy gold!! Trump joke, Trump joke, Lewandowski joke, Trump joke, Trump joke, Trump joke, Bernie joke (actually I'm not sure… it could have been true), bull semen joke. Do you have to be brain dead to watch this show…or is that the result of watching it?

  13. Elaine Snow

    I thought Mexico was going to pay for the wall. Obviously, Trump broke a campaign promise. Trump’s follower’s don’t care. They wouldn’t care if he tore up the Constitution. Oh, wait…

  14. CrismaFire

    Why not just put guys with guns along border and shoot every illegal that crosses. Pay them $1,000 for every adult they kill. Kids can be deported for now.

  15. KerriNature

    LOL ya Americans wish Canadians were more hated in the world but nope 😉 it's not that we're better than Americans…it's just that Americans are so loud about everything they just make us quiet ones look good lol

  16. mrs_acosta484

    ( F A C T !!!!!!!!!!!)
    and 'STOP' shooting our people
    1.. Bad guys would be out of business!!
    2. Problem is rite here in front of us!!
    stop blaming others

  17. June Morga

    Well no crap they're in a desert of course its going to be hot and they even painted them a color that doesn't produce as much heat as black would of and by the way your show is a joke!!!! If you don't like the way the country's being ran the right way then get out 🖕

  18. IndioholiX

    Well Canadians are American just like Mexico is America.. Hmm North America has 3 Countries Mexico , U.S and Canada. Lets not forget South America and Central America. Anyone born in South America, Central America and North America are American… Big difference if its U.S Citizen vs American Citizen. We don't have a American Military we have a U.S Military we don't have a American president we have a U.S president, we don't have a American Olympic team we have a U.S Olympic team… We have a U.S Orange little hand President.

  19. Wes Oliver

    I think there is a reason why this is a late night show…..I almost fell alseep watching this. So boring and not at all funny. The best joke was the last one and it wasn't even really funny…..weak.

  20. ese.hombre

    It will be very hot in the summer months. But more important what else has been added to that wall of steel? Wood and concrete can't vibrate and are not conductive.

  21. James Madison

    Another wasted $25 billion by the Repug-Bull-KLANs…

    The Trump wall can be easily penetrated by a $100 reciprocating saw available at any hardware store

    The wall is beginning to sound a lot like Trump. Thin-skinned and easy to break

    "It's impenetrable. You can't go under it, you can't go over it. Well, you can cut right through it, but it's easily replaced! So, other than cutting through it, it's impenetrable! And we meant to make it that way!" –

    Who said that… CommieGroperFuhrer Trump

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